Dateline: 2014. Location, downtown Chicago. I was at some health care conference (yuk) for a couple days. I had several hours to kill between hotel checkout and my flight home. I decided to walk around for those 3 or so hours. Walked down to navy pier, around that area. It was really hot that day. I only brought wingtip dress shoes, that was a mistake. Walking around in the heat for a few hours. It's nice there, just hot, dehydrated, needed more water. Anyhoots, finally went back to hotel to pickup my carryon bag. So had that & a laptop bag. I'm wearing shorts, wingtips, & a blazer, for the shortish train ride to Midway airport, the orange line. Costs $3, great way to get there, no traffic etc. Picture in your mind: blazer, shorts, wingtips. Leather laptop bag. Carryon small suitcase.
In downtown Chicago the 'El' train has many downtown platforms, 1 story up. Works great. The trains are color coded, easy to follow via the big maps on every platform. I was sitting on a bench up on the platform, in 90 degree heat, thirsty, having walked around in the sun for 2 or more hours. Not paying attention. Tired, dehydrated. A train rolled up, I got on.
Oops.
I was looking around the seats and thought 'jeepers there's a lot of black people going to Midway airport right now.' After a few stops the only non-blacks got off (a Hispanic family). So now it's just me and, oh, about 30 black people. Remember: blazer, shorts, wingtips. So we're rolling along and about 10 seats down from me someone starts playing an extremely loud audio of a women being raped and/or tortured. Maybe it was a video, not sure couldn't see, but it played super loud, like over a big portable radio. Nobody said anything. Nobody did anything. I was looking around and most of the people are staring at me. One guy in across from me wasn't just staring but glaring at me, for my entire trip. So I start looking up at the color coded map over the seats and realize I'm on the green line which goes directly into the south side of Chicago.
In case you're unfamiliar with the south side of Chicago, it's the most dangerous area in the country. Check the news. It's basically a war zone.
As I'm studying the map I note to myself to not appear as I'm panicking, but as if I know what I'm doing. I decide to get off at the next stop, which I do. 2 others also get off and I'm on this of course elevated platform, 15 feet up. Ergo, I have a 360 view of the neighborhood around me. The other 2 walk down the steps and split. The train departs heading further south. I debate catching a northbound train back to the city but there's no easy way to get across the tracks, which are sunken down 6 feet inside the platform. There probably was an easy way to get across, from the outside I reckon, but I didn't see it. I have Uber on my phone, thank god, and fire it up & hail a ride. It takes at least 20 minutes. I stay on the platform, noticing it seems like a 8 foot height tube turnstile to exit only. But mainly I'm looking around me at the neighborhood. Here's what I'm seeing in every direction, an actual pic of south side:
Having never been to the south side of Chicago, it's hard to believe my eyes, to what I'm seeing. But I can tell you this: I sort of felt safe inside this sort of locked station platform. But mainly I thought I could have made a life ending mistake not paying attention to the train color. If you've never been to Chicago's south side, you'll think I'm being dramatic. I get it. But ask a Chicago native what it's like there. You'll see. They've never been there themselves, even though it's the same city, technically.
A Nigerian driver picks me up in his Toyota Camry. He knows we're going to Midway. Never been so happy to get an Uber in my life. So we start our car trek back north to the airport. Which takes seemingly forever. And here's the main reason why.
We have the bad luck of stopping at a red light, and we're the 1st car, ergo at the front of the line. And lo, there's an 70 year old ratty Rasta guy, wearing shorts & nothing else, with a bucket & a squeegee & a rag. He starts working on the windshield. The driver waving his hand no don't clean it. And wiper man, on my side, face inches from mine, goes absolutely batshit. He starts screaming, right at me (my window is closed). He's jumping in place like a pogo stick. Jumping & screaming. The red light, for real, lasted at least 3 minutes. Felt like 30. It wasn't a 30 second light, it was minutes long. There was no cross traffic. In hindsight I should have told driver 'just fucking go and get us out of here.' I know I was thinking that. In hindsight also I should have slipped squeegee Rasta man some bills out the window, to make it stop sweet jebus make it stop.
Eventually light turns green, and we resume our agonizingly slow crawl across the south side, hitting every possible red light, where I get a close up view of the boarded up houses, the gangs, the garbage all over, it's truly 3rd world nightmare shit.
Make it to Midway, fully aware of how stupid I was to not pay attention to the train color. And how lucky I am that Uber exists to get me the fuck out of there. If you think I'm being overly dramatic, go take a drive through Chicago's south side and then see if you have same opinion.