We leave on a Friday eve. Someone rented a travel van. Towing big trailer filled w/bikes. All but 1 of us met at guys house, I knew them vaguely, from bike rides only. Never off the bike. I had a suitcase with a backpack. The one guy I didn't know loudly yells 'hey who brought the big suitcase?' whilst loading the trailer (it's not a big suitcase). I said mine. Since he didn't know me he didn't say anything more. But it was a clue of how the week was gonna go. Let's focus.
We drive a mile into the foothills to pick up the last guy at his multi-million-dollar house. We picked him up because he was bringing his old & smelly dogs in the van with him. His missus was flying there, a few of the missus did that. The dogs were mellow, smelled bad. One of them sold Buicks on the way inside the van.
We took turns driving through the nite. My shift was high up some plateau in nowhere NV. Around 2am I reckon. It was snowing. Couldn't see the lanes of the road. All the driver shifts for the 12 hour drive had no snow, save for mine. Me being from the midwest, know plenty about snow driving. Add in the big van + big trailer, and I'm not speeding like the rest did. I kept it around 50-55. One guy sat next to me, occasionally encouraging me to drive faster. I said forget it, not gonna happen. And speed they did. One of them was notorious for speeding on that trip, and drove over 80 for his shift, which was after mine. This is 2 lane blacktop, middle of the nite, in nowhere NV. I found it so unsafe I was clutching my seat the entire time, believing we were gonna go airborne any moment.
But wait! The first of many dramas occurred on that simple changeover. Stopped at all night petrol store middle of nowhere. Got petrol, chow, whatnot. Resumed drive. I'm in back, realized can't find my phone. Drop to floor, feeling all around the van, can't find it. Mild panic ensues. Did I leave it at the petrol station? I keep my phone unlocked, ergo no security. I bring it up to someone, have them call my phone, I can't hear it. Panic increases. I have a chromebook with me, fire it up, have someone let me connect via mobile hotspot. Ring my phone that way, still can't hear it. I don't have location enabled on my phone, battery drain, ergo can't locate it that way. Ergo, decide to remotely wipe it. That I can do from my cbook. Initiate wipe sequence. Palm Desert is a big town, I'll buy another somewhere. Huge bummer, but at least I brought my cbook (I live online since forever).
But wait! An hour later, as this mild panic is running through my melon, the driver says hey what's this. He's reaching under his leg. Fun fact! He was sitting on my phone the entire time! Nobody could hear the ringing obviously. Noisy van, wind noise, etc. I was glad it was in the van, & mad at myself for leaving it on the seat or dash or whatnot.
When we finally hit town, for some reason the phone wouldn't connect to the network properly. I talked to 3 different tech reps, the 1st two were baffled & I was agitated. Resetting the phone should not nuke network ability. The third knew right away how to fix. They told me to call a code like #code1234# and that worked, it reconnected the phone. Never heard of that, have you? No google mention, nothing. I spent over 2 hours talking to tech reps to get to the fix.
Onwards to the house, after patio brekky at a nice diner. It was a 4 bedroom, plus 2 beds in a converted garage. 3 spouses flew in, 1 guy had a solo room, & I bunked with Aaron in the car park. Fine by me, until the 1st night. Aaron started snoring 30 seconds after lights out. He did not stop snoring for 7 consecutive nights. All night, ever night. Non fucking stop. I would routinely get out of bed, walk over & poke him so he rolled over, but it quickly started up again. I had to wear earplugs. Helped a bit but I'm a very light sleeper. What also didn't help my sleeping (I think) was I decided this was the week to wean myself off adderall. Wean isn't the right word. Cold turkey is a better word. I've had add. since grade school, finally got a late in life scrip from a sympathetic doc. It helped my focus working at my last couple tech startup employers. But the cns stimulant effect is strong and makes a night owl like me even owlier.
Aaron & had lunch that 1st day. I ribbed him after the server waited a full minute for him to decide on a lunch selection. I said 'you're not signing a mortgage, just order something.' He didn't appreciate the cleverness. However, nice guy actually. Buddhist. Also in sobriety recovery. We got along fine that week. On day 3 I privately told him I was toying with punching Troy in the face. Troy had the solo room. I won't itemize what an asshole Troy is. The kicker is Aaron the Buddhist's reply: 'last year I felt the same way.'
When you're an asshole to such a degree you have a Buddhist contemplating punching you, rest assured Troy: you're an asshole.
There were 3 spouses in the big rental. Those 3, by far, were the coolest ppl in the house. They informed me, insistently, on day 1, what the weekly vibe was going to be like. To their credit. They told me in a roundabout way I was staying at the annoying, sarcastic, dickhead house. Where the dudes behaved like dicks. This was the wives telling me this. I said, I lived in a disturbing fraternity house for a couple yrs, I'd be fine. Turns out, me at 20 is different then me present day. The wives were spot on.
7 days of stupidity followed. It was like being in a house with 6 year olds. Same old drill: guys who think they're cool but lack a sense of irony or self-awareness. I think Aaron was self-aware having gone through recovery & a shitty recent divorce. One takes stock with either of those; I can speak to the former. Nonstop idjit sarcasm, loud talking/yelling indoors, weird broey posing. There was a holiday inn a block away, I looked at it several times a day & would have checked myself in had I not caught a ride down in the van. In hindsight I could have rented a car & driven back solo but I also knew I could take it, mainly if I limited my time at the house. Which I did.
So what did I do? I went on tinder and quickly learned of the dearth of straight guys. That area is a hot spot for homos. I could care less, but the womenfolk sure cared. They had a dearth of eligibles. Ergo, I lined up 4 (separate) dates across 4 nites. The first was actually a lunch date from a nurse who was moving there or on contract or something. Nice person, not my type. But the kicker was that nite, 10pm or something she starts sms me, a bunch. Said she's in the hotel bar & really wants me to join her. It was insistent to the point I showed my roommates the thread on my chromebook screen. They were saying 'dude go! go party!' I said nay it's a 30 min drive, we start biking at 9am, I'm here to train not do late nite collisions.' They were disappointed in me. Alas. The next 3 eves I met ladies for drinks (I have of course club sodas) where they each told me how rare it is to find a non homo single guy in the area. None were my type (lots of makeup which I loathe). But it did make me quite the oddity to my roomies, esp the married guys. For kicks I brought one back to the house for a flyby, because she was marketing some kind of athlete powder & wanted to share samples. She came over to a house full of folks for a spell, passed out samples, chatted & split. She was plenty cute but again: makeup. Lots of makeup. 1 guy tried her samples, nobody else did. Thanks guys; way to be open minded.
One of the highlights of the week, and this is how low that bar was. 2 of the 3 spouses were chatting in the backyard, I meandered over, I dug the wives. One said I cannot take any more chatter about those damn dogs. Or something like that. Myself, I dig animals, I'm a pet owner even as of recently. I get the attachment. But the owners of these 2 dogs were irrationally weird about them. Enough to cause ripples in the house, because we were all under various orders related to the dogs. Don't do this, don't do that, etc. Nonstop. Loudly.
The biking? Hard training, I wasn't strong enough to hang with most of the larger group but that's the sport. 1 day we all drove to Joshua Tree park & did an out & back there. Scenic & super windy. Actually most of the week was windy, makes for hard riding. Language. I also realized why all the roomates had small suitcases: there was a washing machine onsite. News to me. Mentioning as none of them (literally, none) knew how to wash clothes. I ran the machine most days post ride so it would be done correctly. I even hung up their bikewear after so it didn't get moldy in there. You're welcome, guys.
Driving back home, we again stopped at the In & Out burger joint at a vegas freeway exit. I've been to a few, late nite hollywood & vegas strip & never have I understood the fascination with this place. The burgers suck. They're bone dry, taste cheap. Taste like sawdust. Any picnic or backyard burger is way better. Save your 'animal style' yadda for someone else. Actual photo:
I replied 'happy to pay my share but nobody has contacted me til now.' So then he forwards me a long email chain with spreadsheet of all the meals out, receipts, petrol, house costs, etc. The chain had my wrong email address. It had been sent to the entire group of guys, back & forth for a couple weeks & not one person noticed, realized or cared that I had not replied once, where everyone else was giving their input, approval, etc.
The guy contacting me replied thusly, to my reply of dude that's not my email address: 'that's because you have a weird email address' (I don't). Moreover, I was on the pre-trip thread correctly. Everyone knew my address. But the tally guy apparently is good with spreadsheets & fuckall with other details.
That was the perfect symbolic end to what should have been a regular normal guy outing to go biking training in the winter desert sunshine. Blame me for having 'a weird email address.' Yes. Blame me. Not the tally guy sending it out for review.
ps I paid my share within the hour after getting the info.