After 6 lean months I started inking deals. A lot of them. I flew to Chicago & Detroit a bunch. Bunches of agencies in those cities (the latter due to auto industry). Making in-person pitches to the exec team. Meetings I lined up from nothing, just me cold calling, no admin. I was good in-person. My graduate degree and statistics training (incl teaching it once) meant I had the sort of brainy cred other sales schmucks they met with didn't have. I made 5% commission on top of a $60k salary. My billings started to hit $100k/month and kept going up. I sold $500k gigs to 3 separate clients. I booked a mil my first year, then over 3 mil my 2nd year. The 3rd year I booked a global exclusive deal, took months & months of negotiation with this smart & nice exec from Australia, who had to have been 70 years old, that kept it rolling in but the stress was so much I was having continuous chest pains. I walked away in late '07, resigned from the job. Walked away from big arse paychecks. I thought I might die if I stayed there. Heart attack. Something. No joke for real. Fat stacks aren't worth perishing.
So. What's it like making $20k a month? Well. Actually, believe it or not, it's pretty great. Taxes take a big bite, almost half of it, but hard to complain. I'd say to the missus hey wanna go to Chicago or SF for the weekend? And off we would go frolic. Me getting wasted drunk like a rich moron every eve and not being good company for most of the trip. But at least cabbage wasn't an issue.
Did time in 3 separate firms for the next 6 years. The first, an all-Russian tiny shop lasted but a few months. Same as them not paying their suppliers (they were notorious for this) they didn't pay me for several months. Always excuses. Got a number wrong in the wire transfer, etc. They finally did pay me some so I said enough of that & split. Sidebar: I was there in Chicago burbs on my bday, where their office was. They took me out. We started drinking in the office actually. At some bar, I counted 17 shots of tequila for each of us. The server kept bringing trays of shots. For 2 hours. That's what happens when you're with Russians on your bday. Then the owner, my friend, drove us home in his $100k V12 Mercedes (in Chicago I would sleep over in his giant empty mansion, on an air mattress; yes, weird as it sounds).
Anyhoots, a 3-year fucked up residency at a Paris based HQ tech shop I'll write about someday, then an LA tech shop I already have.
Then! I was canceled. That was 2013.
I launched a mobile research focused consultancy. Actually landed a few nice customers. I next created, along w/college buddy Coleton, a totally unique service way ahead of its time, an online account death cleanup service. We were interviewed by newspapers. Will write about that separately. Great idea we thought, but too far ahead of its time. Story of my life mayhap? Let's focus.
Still had a mortgage. All that cabbage went toward extra mortgage payments, mostly. Also, booze, bikes & stereo gear. Actually, in hindsight not sure where it all went. Gave the missus a bunch, even after she moved out. Guilt over my drinking I reckon.
And so! I looked into the dole. Applied, accepted. A percentage of your salary up to a ceiling, which I was near. I received ~$1,600/month. Def helps when income goes to zero. Receiving the dole required a mandatory job skills / placement class. For several hours. Which of course I attended. Sure glad I didn't teach that, oy. Interesting audience mix of 20 or so folks. 3 of us white collar types. I sat next to one. Lawyer. Laid off from the firm. Class we learned about the importance of a good resume. Being able to talk about our strengths, work history etc. for interviews. I tried best to stay awake. Oh and we had a requirement to apply weekly to several jobs, with documentation. Submitted that to some state website, my linkedin applications presumably.
I vividly recall my distress when the 2013 congress voted to terminate unemployment payouts at the end of that year. I had months left to go. Chopped off. I also thought I can ride this out ok but what about the folks who don't have some sort of cushion? What the hell? What will they do? Yes folks, I actually care about other people, even strangers. Ergo my 25 years of blood donations. And Big Brother volunteering. But enough about me. Let's focus.
Was on the dole for at most 6 months before cut off. Started selling mobile research consulting gigs. Sold a juicy one to Cargill, the largest global company in the world nobody's heard of. Sold another to an industrial design firm in Madison, WI, involving breast pumps for new moms. True. Did an in person prezo of the results there. Several other sales to various agencies. Lots of pitches, thats for sure. Gave speeches also about this methodology. Gave one to the AMA chapter in Milwaukee. Pitched to Kimberley-Clark, also in WI. Actually, that trip, yeah. 2010ish. Pre dole.
Drove there during the infamous football playoff game, the MN Vikings in NOLA to play the Saints. Violent, controversial, infamous, as outlined earlier. Drove there w/my ladyfriend, 5 hour drive, yuk. Listened to game, all tense. Checked into hotel quick & flipped on telly, watched the carnage. Vikings lose, barely. Proceed to get stupidly drunk on vodka, 1st in bar, then from bottle we either brought or bought. Next morn I have the pitch to about 10 ppl at Kimberly-Clarke. Big global firm, HQ in Neenah, WI of all places. Anyhoots during my pitch I start feeling quesy. Gets worse. And worse. Excuse myself to go to wrangler's room. The pickle at HQ was: no unescorted guests. Ergo the team lead & my primary contact, older woman w/zero personality, walks me down the hall and waits outside. And hears me selling buicks in there. Walked out, she's concerned, you ok? Um, yeah I think I ate a bad egg at brekky but let's continue. Which we did. Finished my prezo, trying not to be embarrassed. Hugely grateful I didn't spray mayhem in a corporate office in front of 10 people I'm pitching to. Not a good look for a sales guy I reckon. Left, picked up ladyfriend from wherever she was and drove back to Mpls. I do recall her driving & me saying pull over in the countryside somewhere. Walked out & sprayed mayhem yet again. This was my lifestyle, for years & years & years. Jelly?
Anyhoots. I missed having an actual gig. I was desirous to be employed again. And extremely desirous to get sober. For latter, I sold much of my belongings in MN & moved to NC for 1.5 years. Dry out & sober up in the heat, biking year-round in anonymity. Worked briefly for 1 Seattle based tech startup in health care, explaining the internets to office drones who operated via fax machines (for real). Then 2 months at a London based small tech shop (yuk) then a year at another London based small tech shop (less yuk). Then a year at an interesting tiny startup helmed by a pair age 24. That was my final stop. That was a sign. Time to get out. Would you work if you didn't have to? Me neither.
Oh wait...there was a small inheritance along the way. That bought a house in Boise, the hottest market in the country, sold it 3 years later for double to buy bigger & better. Lucky timing. Buy low sell high someone once said. Oh and: bought a load of MARA just prior to the 2021 Bitcoin runup. Called that one.
Lessons for you kids out there? Never stop banging away. Go on the dole if you must but keep swinging. Keep networking (never stop networking). Ask for 'informational interviews' to get in the door. Those are a real thing, look it up. Don't wait until you get chopped to start networking or looking for your next gig. Never stop looking around, watching the landscape. Be ready. Stay frosty.