Dateline: 1996. The 2nd great love of my life (rule of thumb you get 3) & I had this running tension. She had the bad luck to be born into an extremist Christian household. As in: fucking nutters. She was forced to buy into this, no choice. Roll of the dice. Myself btw, I'm a lifelong atheist, since age 6. Non practicing Jew also. Anyhoots, as a result of her bad luck, she became a virgin bride in her late 20s to an athletic chap named Chris. He was a customer where she was a waitress, back in the day. Two items about Chris:
- He first showed signs of brain cancer on their honeymoon. Couldn't stay awake for the week. Ergo, newlywed virgin bride with new hubs diagnosed terminal. He had brain surgery, his mom moved in for months (also an extreme evangelical) & made her life even more miserable with nonstop disrespectful comments to her.
- He got better, or at least survived, for a few more years. Altered personality, like a stoned zombie (I met him) and one truth did come out: he's as gay as it gets. How do I know? Because she walked in on him shagging his buddy. So that's a pretty good clue.
I'll fast forward as this isn't about her & I, other than background. It's about one single evening. For months she told me she was now a pariah within her own family, his family, & her church (which she of course left). Why?
Because of me! Not because his brain cancer turned him into a zombie. Not because he was treating her like shite. Not because he was an active (deeply closeted) homo which his family & tribe likely don't know about to this day. I guess I'd be closeted also if my parents made me do this:
Nope. It was because of me. Or: her 'abandoning' him to be with me, is what she told me the rumors were. Leave it to the evangelicals to eat their own at slightest sign of disloyalty. Never you mind she put her own life & career on hold for over a year, literally staying by his bedside only to have him recover enough to treat her like shite. Nah, that doesn't matter.
So she told me her parents were giving her a major hard time, re yours truly. She told me that for months. We were both very irritated & frustrated at this. Finally, she said: 'you need to see what I see & go there for a visit.' I said 'yup you're right, ok let's do it.'
And so, one evening we drove to the burbs where I had the most bizarre, surreal 'meet the parents' I'll ever have. Started out friendly. They made me tea. Pops sits me down at the table and starts telling a loooooong story about the history of Christianity. My gf wasn't in sight. The hyper energy shrewish ma was walking in & out of the room nonstop during this tale. A tale I couldn't understand, whatsoever. Other than the final statement, which is seared into my memory forever. I shall quote him verbatim:
"And that's why, you see, Jews are 2nd class citizens."
That was the abrupt end to his 20-minute history lesson. I just looked at him, baffled, suddenly feeling like I was on mushrooms. Then, wait for it, his wife flipped out, just like that. Ma was literally hopping up & down like on a pogo stick, screaming at her hubs, right in front of us:
"I can't have this! No Jew will ever date my daughter! Make it stop! Break them up! If you don't break them up I'm leaving you!"
My gf then emerged from elsewhere due to the shouting. I politely got up, walked over to her, said 'um I'll wait outside for ya.' Went to my car & waited in snow falling for a long 10 minutes for her to emerge. God knows what they were saying to her. We drove away, I was dazed she actually was raised in that freakshow. I cannot imagine that horror.
Epilogue. Fast forward a few years. My gf & I were off & on for those few years, due to my drinking. But we've stayed friends, to this day actually. So, dig: her antisemitic dad met me for lunch. Cannot recall how that occurred but would have gone through her. I went out of curiosity, specifically if he would apologize. Not exactly. He pitched me on some mortgage gymnastics scenario. No mention of my visit. He seemed desperate (he was).
Weird family epilogue p2: she told me her older brother was doing some investment thingy. Sounded interesting. Met him, was more normal, decent bloke. It was a money laundering scheme in reality. But he was so earnest, he's not the scammer type. He himself had been scammed by them, in hindsight. ROI too good to be true. Required a $10k minimum investment. I had just received my annual bonus for around that amount. So after he did this long dog & pony how it worked, a few follow-up phone calls, as he was so earnest, as outlined earlier; I wired the dough to some bank in the Caribbean. First & last time I've ever participated in an actual scam, or at least been scammed. So long, $10k. She told me months later he lost a crap ton more. Who knows. Who cares. Sidebar to my loyal readers: unusually high ROIs are scams. Never fall for it, even if it's your uncle or whatnot pitching it.
