Dateline: last 20 years? When I'm out biking, I reflect on my life & think of articles to add here. Here's a short 1 pager. I've known 4 female friends who have dated Gendarme. Each have identical stories. Initially they dug the Constable. Then the fling morphed into some gawdawful drama mess. Nasty, possessive, jealous, shouting, controlling, etc. Nothing as bad as this among them fortunately. But all 4? The same exact tale of spiraling into darkness & sorrow.
Is it the power trip that makes the Mounties this way? Or did they enter the field because they're already into controlling power trips? Or is the sample size too small to theorize? How about you and your pals. Any of them involved with the Federales? How's that going? You certain?
Separately, 5 other female friends were drained of their cabbage by their exes.
#1
He put a $20k stock purchase on their joint credit card (married). Didn't tell her. She found out of course. He said 'don't pay it off because the startup is going to make us a lot of dough.' The startup went bust. They divorced. He never paid a penny of the cc bill. Somehow she agreed to this, prolly as she was the employed one. We dated several years later where she told me this tale. She's in my Row v Wade blurb also come to think of it.
#2
Another random ex of mine. Her ex talked her into loaning him $50k in increments. Prolly less as when I met her, a few years after, that was the current debt on her credit card. $50k. She did a cash advance on her cc mebbe, with loan shark rates? He was unemployed, natch. Quite the catch. His money, her debt. She made $100k a year btw. How do I know? Because I spent hours one afternoon creating a cash flow xls for her. All her bills: utilities, cc, mortgage, etc. Every dollar. All of it. Along with the paycheck input of course. Not only did she not do any budgeting; I'm not sure she even knew what a budget was. Ergo, my attempts to help her. Especially with the heinous cc payment; telling she needed to pay x monthly to kill it. They weren't married btw he was just some parasite.
#3
Another ex of mine. Her ex-hubs opened a joint account when they married where he proceeded to spend her money on his spoiled af teen daughter. She objected. He didn't care. This went on for a few years until she finally split with little savings. Then I met her & fell for her. I carried her financially for a couple years meself, she was low maintenance & I could afford it. I also taught her investing basics before she left me a year ago.
#4
This here was 4 years ago. She relayed to me the following on our 2nd & final date. We were walking downtown to listen to a touring gawdawful Talking Head cover band. I didn't enjoy the show as I was gob smacked re what she told me strolling on yon boulevard. How ignorant she was & that I was wasting time with her. How ignorant? Dig, if you will, the following. She was married to a Mountie, but that's incidental (I think). She discovered he was cheating on her (she saw his phone sms). They proceeded to divorce. At the time he was a beat cop, didn't make much (he's currently a bigwig precinct captain in Idaho).
She didn't hire a lawyer. She told me, for real: 'I decided to just ask HIS lawyer for advice.' And what was his advice? Hand over the entirety of her retirement savings & receive nothing in return.
I actually stopped walking on the sidewalk & made her repeat that last part. She repeated. Adding 'it's ok I wanted to make sure he was happy.' I stared. I resumed walking. Me thinking your hubs cheated on you, you caught him, you're divorcing, and now you're handing over your retirement savings on the advice from his lawyer?
We went to the show & split after 30 minutes. I couldn't get over her state of stupefaction and had no interest in spending more time with her.
#5
This here was a scant month ago. We met just a couple of times, chatted on the phone a few times. She told me about her recent divorce. Married as a teen, 30 years of wasted life to a Christian refrigerator light. She herself never had a chance, born into nutter jebus family. Anyhoots she starts working for the city long ago, climbing the ranks to a 6-figure salary. Hubs? He toils away in a 'Christian bookstore' making fuckall. A year ago she's had enough and they agree to divorce sans lawyers or any legal advice (or friend advice) whatsoever. So what does she do, hands over literally everything, all her assets, including their house. But wait, there's more! Agrees to buy him a $70,000 car. Which she's currently making payments on even though their divorce finalized this year (I told her to quit making payments). She's actually in debt as a result of this, apparently from giving away more than she actually had. Oh and, living in a shitbox rental. But her obsession was keeping her pension intact, which she did. Ergo, gave everything else away to her deadbeat Christian ex hubs. Hope the city doesn't go bankrupt.