 |
| actual view, could be worse |
Dateline: a few weeks ago. Way back in the 90s me mum bought a small, forested lakeside piece of property. Nothing happened for years until tree clearing began in late 90s & the start of building a house began in the year of our lord 2000. Many family members helped. Some have legit construction & carpentry skills. The rest did the various unskilled odd jobs. There's a pic of me up 12 feet installing insulation in the arched ceiling. My sole insulation job; there shan't be another. That's what my readers are for.
Over the last 20+ years a slew of family members hath visited. It's a 3-hour drive from the big city where they all live. But worth it. On a lake, trees, birds, all that crap. The nightly view:
15 years ago, one large family cohort, the largest actually (nonstop breeding for the welfare paychecks, for real), were banned from the property. Banned due to an unrelated incident involving a years long scheme to defraud an extended family member: an elderly woman with dementia (and money). Money that was meant to be inherited to me mum and her brother / my uncle. Over half a million. Someday I'll write about that shitshow. But not today.
Nay, today's blurb is about a very recent event, just a few weeks ago. For over a decade my aunt & uncle have been wintering in Texas & summers up north here at the cabin. They own a big RV, a mobile home on wheels they keep parked in Texas. In the spring they drive north to nearly the Canadian border where summers are milder, at least in comparison to Texas. They'll spend several months here, boating & fishing in this vacation destination where many people travel from far away to enjoy. The population swells in the summer.
If you've been paying attention, you'll realize they don't own a home. Well, not a home on a property. They're at an RV city in TX in the winter and me mum's cabin on the lake for the spring & summer. Are they homeless? Not in the typical sense. Nomads? More accurate.
Here are the more relevant questions for this blurb:
- Do they pay rent at the cabin?
- Do they pay property taxes for the cabin?
- Do they pay utilities, i.e., electric, water, heat at the cabin?
- Do they pay property insurance at the cabin?
The answer to all the above questions is simple: no. Not one penny. Not in the 10+ years they've been...house sitting? Squatting? What would you call it?
In lieu of payments they did fix various stuff around the property. At least one major repair, a new steel roof my uncle installed. I paid for it ($3k) but he did the install & labor. Replaced the boards in the deck when they started to rot. Mowed the lawn. Fixed the dock, which only he used for his boat come to think of it.
I found a big bag of receipts and invoices from Home Depot and similar stores recently. Going back 10 years. Wood, metal stuff, paint & stain, screws, etc. On these receipts is me mum's name indicating her credit card paid for all of it. Ergo, she was bankrolling the home improvements whilst me aunt & uncle continued avoiding paying for anything. They did pay for cable tv though, which only they watched. But that's it. They paid the monthly tv bill.
Around 5 years ago me mum no longer could drive herself up here. Ergo her visits were fewer & involved advance notice. The reason for that is because my aunt & uncle, now having the place largely to themselves all season (recall: I've been living out of state 10 years until recently), realized they now had free run of the place. Ergo, they began treating the property as a free hotel for not just their own family, but the extended family & their friends. For the last several years, total strangers to me & me mum were using the property, without our knowledge, never paying a penny, using the electricity, water, amenities.
Without our knowledge, until recently, that is.
For you see, loyal reader, my 10-year walkabout is coming to a close. 2 years in North Carolina, 5 years in Idaho, 3 years in Oregon. You've read my North Carolina weird stories, haven't you? That has 4 chapters. Read all 4. Packed plenty of insanity in those 2 years, as usual. Idaho & Oregon are coming up in the next few months, the writing part that is.
Whilst I wait for my Oregon house to sell I'm staying here at the family cabin in 'Paul Bunyan' land. Located in middle America. Some find it a vacation paradise. It's quite scenic: lakes, forests, not crowded. But for me it's a place to stay whilst in limbo between selling my current place out west then buying a new house here in middle America. So after a 4-day drive with a howling cat for
most of the drive, finally made it to Paul Bunyan land. And then looking around every day realized this: my aunt & uncle have been using the cabin as a storage space for years. Me mum doesn't drive anymore, cannot descend the stairs to the basement. I've been gone for 10 years, nobody is in charge. Well, no property owner is in charge, or even there that often. Meanwhile me mum continues paying the utilities, taxes, etc. as outlined earlier.
The tipping point? There were 2 nice antique looking chairs in the basement. Not being used, they're up against the wall next to each other. In fact, there is, for real, seating for 20 people inside the cabin. 20! There's that many chairs, up & down. Plus seating for another 8 on the outside deck. Are they hosting town hall meetings here? Nope. What they were doing I came to find out was using the property as a free hotel for...everyone they knew? Anyone in their family, boyfriends, girlfriends, grandkids, who wanted a vacation getaway was welcome. To visit me mum's (and one day my) cabin.
So I sms my uncle, asking what's with these unused antique chairs? He replied they're his daughters, she didn't want them, I didn't recognize them; figured they were new arrivals. But no, they arrived 10 years ago (according to them). So hey: just 'bring them to the cabin' because, why not? So I called them. They're still in TX at the time. My aunt immediately gives me attitude with 'so what's the problem with the chairs?' My reply, and I quote, 'this conversation can go 1 of 2 ways.' She dropped the attitude. I was fully prepared to drop the nuclear option (eviction) on them but didn't.
Rather, I told them 2024 is 'going to be the year of the declutter.' Use the summer to figure out what's essential and get rid of the rest. In particular under the stairs was 3 feet deep with kids toys and water sports stuff and storage bins. The furnace room had been collecting unused tools and old radios and various crap for 20 years. And the outdoor shed was packed so full with junk it wasn't possible to walk in it. There were ancient filing cabinets in there, wtf. Just packed with junk nobody wanted to take to a dumpster. I mentioned those 3 areas to them as examples of where all the crap had accumulated.
They agreed with me. They said they're driving north next month. I said dandy and that was that.
Or so I thought.
2 weeks later my uncle sends me an sms on Friday afternoon: 'Hi I'm in town and will be there tomorrow around noon to pick up a few things.' That's the exact sms. This was lie #1. I was curious why he's in the state weeks early but didn't ask just said ok see you tomorrow.
So at noon the next day a caravan of 4 vehicles pull in. 2 cars and 2 pickup trucks. One of the pulling a 10-foot uhaul trailer. 8 people waked into the cabin with boxes and immediately began grabbing stuff into boxes.
And nobody was talking to me or looking at me. Including my cousin (their daughter) I've not seen in 20 years. Or her hubs. Or her 2 kids who are college age and I've never met. I said hi to her she said hi and walked past not looking at me. Ok, wtf is going on. Weird vibe.
So I ask my uncle to come out on the deck to chat, which we do. He said they've decided to not return to the cabin and stay in TX year round (lie #2). He then said he would visit me mum the next day in person to tell her (lie #3). During this chat my cousin's hubs was standing a few feet away, apparently monitoring the conversation. I came close to saying 'need something' but didn't because I didn't give a shit if he did or didn't. In hindsight I think he was just eavesdropping, for...what exactly? A rumble?
Meanwhile the cat is freaking out as she's very shy. I spent part of the next 2 hours in a room with her ergo didn't see much of what was happening. Oh before that I quickly disassembled my stereo and moved to me mum's room which I figured was off-limits. They still went in there and stole me mum's dreamcatcher. Just fucking stole it. Nice.
Beds are being disassembled, drills are being used, ppl everywhere. 8 of them and 1 of me. My uncle said 'he' was coming to 'pick up a few things.' Yeah thanks for that.
So I didn't even realize my aunt was there for 30 or 40 minutes. I heard her voice, she was in 'her' bedroom with others packing stuff. I said 'oh hi there' she didn't look up just said 'hi' and kept packing. Someone I've known all my life, got along with always, confided in, etc. Now ignoring me. Nice.
So at the very end I'm sitting in the upstairs alone, everyone else is outside. A guy comes in, met him earlier he's the boyfriend of a different cousin who wasn't there. I ask him if he's ever been here. He said yeah last year a few days. In my head I'm thinking: 'that's nice. Free hotel. Total stranger.' I ask him 'hey do you know what the rush is? I told them take the summer to organize and purge their stuff.' His reply made everything click into place:
'We were told that I said everything needed to be removed immediately.'
I said 'oh nay, not the case. I told them to take the entire summer to figure out.' He replied 'that's just what we were told.' So I said ok, I don't know the guy, he's just being fed another lie (lie #4). Not his fault. He's just being invited to the free hotel.
Nay, the 'mastermind' behind all this is the family's resident drama queen: my aunt. She's been steamrolling her hubs his entire life, but that's their issue not mine. She created the lie that I was demanding removal of their stuff immediately. Why would she do that? Because that's the only way she can get 6 people to drop what they're doing on short notice and drive 3 hours, each way, on a Saturday to empty the place.
Last year I asked my uncle about the septic system tank up here. Specifically, if had ever been emptied. Lake homes up here don't have municipal water service. Water comes in through very deep wells, and wastewater & sewage goes into a giant 1,500 gallon tank called a septic system. They need to be emptied every 4 years. He didn't know the last time it was emptied. Ergo, what the fuck. He never made the call to have it emptied? His extended family coming up here for years and he never had it emptied? Just to avoid paying for it? What the fuckity fuck.
So a day after the ambush I found an emptying service and they came after a few days with a big truck & long hose and did the emptying. I debated looking into it, as I wanted to know if it was still working. So I was there when he pried off the lid. Filled to the brim, 1,500 gallons of shit. Their shit. Which I was not paying for to get rid of. Thanks everybody. Way to have pride of ownership.
Actual pics, jelly?
Even after the ambush there was loads of junk & garbage they just left here. Which I had to deal with. Fortunately, Craigslist! Here's one of the internet strangers who came to haul away a bunch of their junk:
Craigslist was a big help in the following days. Had several guys with trucks & trailers remove their leftover unwanted crap.
On the plus side? They're gone. Their stuff is gone. And they shan't be coming back. If they do, they can smile for the cameras I installed to be used for trespassing charges. Oh and: all the locks were changed.
Til next time y'all. Jelly?