Dateline: 2016-2017. Toward the middle of 2016, nearing two years in Winston Salem, NC, the isolation was gnawing on me. That isolation drew me there in the 1st place. That draw was me being newly sober and wanting to getaway and bikey year-round, stay sober, live a simple life. ✅ Mission accomplished. Actually, the days were dissolving into the next and there needs to be more to life than this amiright. Many evenings I went out in my downtown loft's parking lot and looked west towards the incredible sunset views. And I placed phone calls. The loft was on a hill, the view went for miles. Anyhoots I called my friend David in Boise often, initially to talk about my dysfunctional yoga teacher relationship, then about getting out of there. Called my psychologist pops often; he always helped. Others too. Boise was always in my plans, going back 10 years actually. Time to make that happen. And I could stay at David's initially, big help logistically.
I asked the loft's property company manager to get out of my lease & she amazingly said no problem. It helped that we got along. And that the lofts were in high demand. Once, when she threw a new resident patio gala I helped her clean up afterwards; nobody else did. Ergo started packing up for the long move, not back to the Midwest, but off to Boise, Idaho, where I would remain for 5 years of highs, lows, and nonstop weirdness.
Actual packing pic, riveting stuff. Awesome loft space, 12 ft ceilings, brick walls, yadda:
Oh and for you youngsters out there: important safety reminder. I got a moving quote from a proper 1 stop shop door to door firm. He came over, nice guy, gave me quote of around $4k. Said we keep it all under our roof, no outsourcing, etc. I think they were called Axis or similar. Mistake not hiring them. I had used a cheapie moving service from MN to NC and decided to do it again. Online only quote, same place maybe. But behind the scenes it's a clusterfuck of outsourcing. 2 days before my move, flights booked etc, they still hadn't confirmed. I start calling. They said we'll send the truck up from Atlanta the morning of my move. Great. No room for error there. So, a couple blokes arrive about 5 hours before my flight. They have to do the long walk out my loft to parking lot truck. But for some idjit reason I figured they would take my Ikea bed frame as is, rather than disassembled. So whilst 1 guys shleps boxes out to their truck the other disassembles, wasting time. But: that's my fault. I should have done it. Still don't know why I didn't. Dumb of me. So when they load the truck, they give me the bill: $5,500. Fuck me. They said they couldn't stack stuff on top of my big, crated paintings as they were uneven (true) ergo takes up more truck floor space (true). I was miffed, they called their mgr who asked me if they should unload everything in the parking lot. I said nay, ok, proceed. Dayum. But again: I had the earlier quote, set in stone. My fault for not taking it. Got worse on the back end too, fucksticks.
Days earlier another truck came & picked up my car. There was no way I was driving solo from NC to ID. Paid $1k to have it shipped. Totally worth it. And put both my bikes inside & also my 120lb sculpture. Brilliant! My flight from NC to ID was in the afternoon. We were cutting the time dangerously close. But I signed whatever paperwork they gave me and said goodbye to most of my possessions. Took a taxi to Greensboro airport with 3 suitcases, 2 checked & a carry. Naturally the carryon was where I randomly put my CO2 compressed air cylinders for inflating flat bike tires. Those are prohibited items, so whilst I have just a few minutes before my flight, my bag is flagged & searched, every item. I'm sweating at this point I'm not gonna make it. I run to my gate & just make it onboard, for the long flights to ID & a new life there.
Back to the movers, car & stuff. Both arrivals were near disasters on the delivery end in Boise. Similar reason too. Both companies required cash on delivery. My house stuff I paid most of it up front. Should be no problem, right? First, the car movers called me out of blue said 'we're 3 hours from Boise where should we meet do you have the $1k in cash?' wtf dudes. You just drove across the country, you have nothing but time, how about a bit more lead time to meet and pay? At the time I was apartment touring with the 2 ppl where I was staying. Us 3 all hit our ATM and we each pulled out $300. Then I went & waited for the giant truck. And waited, as they weren't there. I called them they said we're parked a couple blocks from the meet place. Thanks guys. Well done. Here's my actual Chevy HHR arriving, completely coated every inch in grimy crust from a blizzard in the Rockies:
But it arrived. Filthy. I paid. Car worked. Now all I needed was my house stuff, & nobody knew where it was. I tried. Nobody knew fuck all. It's outsourced from co to co like a hot potato. After touring 10 apartments with David's son, wanting none, on the way home I saw a 'for rent' sign near where I was staying. In Hyde Park, a wealthy progressive bubble of Boise. Very expensive neighborhood. Called, owned by an 80-year-old firecracker. Apparently she was a former legend from her troublemaker days in the Idaho state legislator. Major pain in arse, which I experienced a year later when I bought my own house & moved out. Complained about everything. Renting out a house she owned (one of many) worth at least $700k. Save that for later.
The current tenant was a Japanese guy moving back to Japan. An engineer at Micron where HQ is. I met him briefly during my tour. Turns out he stopped paying the utility bills months earlier. Fucking dick. What a fucktard. Moving out the country so he stops paying.
Anyhoots, the movers out of the blue call me. Fortunately I answer the random number. EXACTLY like the car movers, they called and said, 'we're 3 hours from Boise do you have the cash where should we go.' I'm again thinking and actually told them 'you're 3 hours away how about lead time' but they could care less.
But here's the major problem. I asked if they're in a semi-truck he said yup. Where I was staying my 1st couple months was a groovy manse 1/4 mile up in the Boise foothills. Twisty hairpin turns. Impossible for a semi. Ergo, panic! It was evening too. What would you do? I called my new landlord in a panic. Asked if I could store my stash at my new house, where I was to move in a few days later. She said I'll check with the Jap tenant, she called him, he said fine, fortunately. Ergo, me & my friends met the massive truck there. It was larger than a semi, it was the kind of truck that can go on a train. Fortunately, my new house was on the corner, grid streets, they could park.
So the 2 guys unload my stuff into the garage. I sign the paperwork, pay their $1k in cash balance, thank them. Guy says 'no tip?' I reply 'not when you call me with 3 hours of lead time.' What if I was out of town? What if I didn't answer? They were heading to the west coast out of state after my dropoff, what then? NEVER hire movers that are outsourcing the actual move from A to B. This is CRITICAL. Pay more up front and avoid paying even more from the scammer movers running this hustle.
But I got my rental house, after filling out a ridiculous amount of paperwork including background checks. A duplex, my side faced Camelback Park if you know Boise. $1,300/month. Across from a kiddie playground where, 7 days a week, all day, every day, year round, little kids SHRIEKED LIKE DOLPHINS. Fortunately, I'm into fancy stereo equipment ergo could drown out their racket, except early in the morning, sweet jebus.
After I was there a few months, thought about renting out the spare bedroom. Upstairs was two gigantic duplicate master bedrooms. One was totally empty; I used the big garage for whatever storage I needed. I put advert on Craigslist or somewhere, started chatting with a 'computer programmer.' He came over to take a look. Indian guy. Said he just moved to Boise from San Francisco. Anyhoots we agreed on a price and a few days later he's emailing some story about not getting back pay or paycheck problems or something. I said you can move in if you have cash, nothing else matters. So a week later he said he could move in. He knocks on door, I said 'do you have the money? He says 'no but it's coming soon.' I said 'you take care now, all the best' and closed the door. Dodged a bullet. Fucktards always find me.
Many thanks to David & his missus for letting me stay at his place nearby in the foothills for a couple months until I found this rental. They have a rather amazing manse. This is the view of their backyard from the deck:
My hosts got a kick out of my keto diet, which I started in NC and maintained for nearly 2 years, including thousands of miles of endurance bicycling. Keto is a high fat, low to zero carb diet. Moderate protein. A frightening amount of sardines (which are actually quite good with long shelf life). Allegedly healthy, pre agricltural diet, more how we evolved before TV dinners & drive throughs.
Here's what trips to the grocery store looked like for me back then, actual pic, jelly?
'Bring me your finest meats & cheeses!'
One bit of bad luck re timing: my move to Boise from the warm southeast was just before the historic 'snowmageddon' of 2017. The coldest, snowiest winter in 30 years everyone I met kept telling me. It was hyenas, coming from the warm Carolinas. State of emergency, for real. David had a 4-wheel drive car & he would pick me up weekly so I could go grocery shopping. He's an avid downhill skier so he was the happiest bloke in Boise, along with the other skiers. But for us civilians it was gawdawful.
During this hyenas winter I was applying for local jobs. Why not? Meet more people, grow a network, get back in the circus. Hadn't had an office commute job for 10 years but new town, would try again. Tried in NC & came close but didn't snag one. Met with the one consumer research in town, Lynx Research, and quickly realized they were cookie cutter old school data collection proxies, nothing more. Zero innovation. Just like 90% of all consumer research firms. Same wine in a different bottle. Buying online 'sample' meaning survey taking bots, converting the data to powerpoint & selling it to their client as 'insights' at a yuge markup.
Made serious inroads at the biggest advertising agency in town. I had actually met the owner waaay earlier, like 15 years earlier when I myself was working for a big consulting agency. In fact I was meeting with him & his leadership team (CEO & COO & analytics head) on my prior visit to moving there, several months earlier. Specifically, showed them projects I was running with mobile based research. Which at the time, 2015, I was a nationally recognized expert on this topic. I was writing industry articles and being hired by various companies to run projects completely by myself, soup to nuts, start to finish. Data collection, analyses, reporting, onsite presentation of results. Heady times for a solopreneur. I had my shit together.
They assigned me to one of their project managers to create a study for one of their larger clients. I chain of gas station stores throughout the western USA. Pretty exciting! The goal was to gather data on customers who bought their petrol at the store but did not go inside to buy the food. Pretty standard stuff for what I did. We would use specialized mobile apps that geofenced the locations to capture this data with a live survey a few hours after their visit. The project manager, Amanda, a cute as a button young blonde, was plenty helpful & was keen on the study. Amanda had an issue on her LinkedIn profile I always debated informing her. In her 'contact info' all users have, the url she added was a porn site. Full nudity, bam, as soon as I clicked it. I never told her, figuring it would be so embarrasing to her it would distract from my assignment. I would check it every few months, and yup, always there. I'm obsessed with attention to detail, particular with online presence across the board: socials, resumes, all my projects. Even this blog. Accuracy is extremely important to me. Which is why I have low or zero patience with sloppiness like that. But it was not my place to inform her, so I didn't.
So here's what happened. We were to do an internal pilot project with 10 of their employees. They installed the app, I configured the various tech stuff, and off they went. Data started coming in perfectly, on 9 of them. The 10th happened to be the Owner/CEO. And when he went to the gas station location, his app didn't work. According to him. Who the fuck knows why. 9 others worked perfectly but not his.
So he pulled the plug on the entire project. My multiple visits, presentations, prep work, tech work...all down the drain. Shit like this has happened in my work life to an obscene degree. I've written about it elsewhere here, under the 'work freaks' label in the table of contents top of the main page.
Anyhoots.
Back to the office gig, an actual job job, where I would have to set my alarm, get up, feed & clean myself, & venture across town to the east side of Boise to an anonymous office park. If I landed the gig that is. I was one of four candidates. I went in, met with everyone in small group interviews, took hours. 15 people in the office. Then a week later I went back and did it all again. This team existed in Boise because everyone there served the HP / Hewlett-Packard account. HP has a big operation in Boise and they were doing marketing analytics for them. The role they were hiring for, however, was not for HP. It was for SAP, the giant data analytics firm. HQ in Europe with USA operation in Charlotte, North Carolina. Yes, in the NC. And would require travelling there often. Not fun. It's 2 long flights, a half day of travel. But hey, that was the gig, and it was a good gig. Paid well. They didn't offer health insurance so instead they paid everyone an extra $600/month to figure that out on our own. Fine by me.
So after those two lengthy visits to the office for interviews, the team lead, Janet, called me on a Friday with the good news: I landed the gig! Yeehoo! Finally, an actual job in an office with colleagues and everything! I could make new friends, or at least build up a network in my new town. I was going to start on Monday! I was so excited!
For 48 hours.
This is why I remember it was on a Friday. Because Janet sent me an email on Sunday. It opened with an apology. Turns out, the prior day, Saturday, she was informed by HP that their entire account has been cancelled. 15 people in the office, every single one of them working directly with HP, and NOT ONE FUCKING PERSON had a clue their relationship was failing. This is inexcusable. I worked dozens and dozens of complex corporate accounts over my career. To not know you're hanging by a thread means you're not seeing what's actually happening. Or garnering the sort of trust level that let's one learn what is happening, off the record. Or just don't give a shit and do your job and go home and stay on the paycheck treadmill into your 60s or 70s, eventually retired and broke. To this day I marvel at how shitty they were managing their ONE CORPORATE ACCOUNT.
But wait, there's more.
At exactly the same time as my conversations with this company, I was having lengthy discussions with the CEO of a software company in London. I had been chatting industry innovations in mobile research with this CEO over video every few months for a couple years. I had been talking to him over the space of those weeks about being his USA sales rep. They had no salesperson at all outside of London, just a couple project managers who think revenue generation just happens magically. No North American revenue generator, which was my specialty.
THE SAME WEEK I received the Boise job offer on a Friday, the CEO made me a job offer. I told him many thanks but I think I'm about to land a local office gig here in Boise. He was cool about it, wished me well. Well! On Saturday, the day in between receiving the offer & then having it evaporate, I emailed the CEO, confirming I did indeed receive & accept the job offer. He replied congratulations or whatever.
So then THE NEXT DAY that offer disintegrated. Fuck me. Story of my work life. So I emailed London a few days later, AGAIN, and wrote something like: um, yeah, never mind. I would be delighted to come work for you! Fucking embarrassing but had to do it. And work for London I did, for the next couple years of total dysfunction. But hey, it's a gig.
Oh and: 3 people from that office, which was closing with everyone losing their jobs, all separately, emailed me in the weeks that followed. Asking ME for a job. Um folks? I just moved here. So no, I'm not hiring.
Anyhoots.
So long North Carolina warm winters (and scorching summers). So long my friends who visited me there, here's a couple separate visitors to Winston Salem:
Speaking of Asheville, here's me at the back end of a 200k bike ride, sort of lost, asked this fine stranger for directions. She is a perfect representation of Asheville, NC btw: a dot of blue in a sea of red:
So long NC, biking up Pilot Mountain, the most brutal 2 mile climb anywhere, pics of summit and in the distance:
So long Wednesday evening group ride out of Rural Hall, the 2nd coolest group I'll ever ride with (Boise Wednesday eve group ride #1 but it's close):
Onwards to Boise Part 2 where it starts getting juicy. That's what she said.